Can I not blog?

Lately...I'm permutated with tots of not blogging again. I'm beginning to write some of my exciting & happy happenings in a secret blog all for my fantasy, to keep tracks of lovely & memorable events...

I've got another blog to pour my distress as well...so this one is neutral & public..

...Like covering my public opinions & thoughts reflection.

Hmm...I'm intending to cut down on blogging, perhaps to once a month? Oh, I'm just thinking..?

Errmm..ppl usually say: I don't wanna be a showoff on my blog, where the next moments they'll be posting blissful pictures of lavish dinings or luxury livings. (Is actually a little showoff itself) This...if any, is gonna be kept at a secret blog - undisclosed.

Personal blog are blogs where ppl prove their lifestyles, their splurge or so..
Lately I know some friends in the rare group of rich splendour but the NOT proud or arrogant gang. Totally my idols!

Seen so many rich, poor, male or female, yet really really seldom come across ppl who bears not a tad bit of proudness or snobbishness despite being heavy spenders... U know what...some ppl with a little bit of money to spend or wine & dine in high class places tells the world abt their lives...or TALK LOUD!

But hell no...this is totally a success as a person in life. Success is not measure by the value of money, whereas persona wise...? however..., human's flaw still lies, thus holdings certain pitfalls in life too...

Many a times when ppl said something u're sure it's incorrect or truth-mixup, are u always there to perform the corrections or prove that u know more? Well, to withhold such anxious demonstration is yet another virtue many normal couldn't achieve, what's more for ppl a little well-off.

I was so super impress by this group of rare friends, which becomes my motivation to become a successful person irregardless of our wealth status. To keep quiet thou' u enjoy the best out of everything, to spend for your own 'shiokness' or happiness but never permitting it to fall into 'haolianness'...

I'm glad to find such ppl existence...Hmm...people with no airs...

还爱着你心中曾经那朵红玫瑰吗？

Drafted 16th June, 11.35pm

曾经，

是否有一朵这样的红玫瑰在你心中绽放。

曾经，

是否有一个美丽的名字成为你夜夜梦中的呓语。

曾经，

是否有一份深深的爱让你大喊：“为了你，抛弃天下又何妨？”

也是曾经，

愚蠢的丘比特、糊涂的月老只将心动给了其中的一个。

也是曾经，

三个字：“我爱你！”换来的却是四个字：“我不爱你！”

也是曾经，

承受爱一个人的痛苦却始终得不到被一个人爱的幸福。

…………

有这样一个故事（本故事纯属虚构，如有雷同，纯属巧合，请不要对号入座）：

男孩在见到女孩的第一面的时候就发觉自己爱上了她，
这绝对不是一见钟情的爱。
单相思是很苦的，男孩很聪明，他决定告诉她，告诉她自己的想法。
男孩知道有可能得到的是拒绝，但是至少也许可以作为一段美丽爱情的开端……
认识的过程很平常，很普通，却很惬意，不过在深夜电话中聊天真的可以拉近心与心的距离吗？

爱情，很容易让人冲昏头脑，对，的确是这样的……
表白，意外的被接受了，是该高兴吗？

时间，带来了失败的开端。美丽的爱情宣言变成了愚人节的玩笑…………
直到男孩清醒之后，才发现了这残酷的事实……
接着来的，自然是厌烦与拒绝，伤心与痛苦……

“这就是所谓的没有缘分！”
女孩这样说。

“爱一个人不需要任何理由，同样，不爱一个人也是……”
女孩还这样说。

“我只知道我会永远永远的这样爱你，永远永远的为你守侯……”
男孩这样回答。
…………

故事没有结束……
男孩这样说也这样做，只希望能够用自己的付出去打动一颗不属于自己的心。
还有什么叫痴情吗？

女孩的每个举动、每个变化都会牵动男孩的心。
还有什么叫迷恋吗？
梦中的呓语、酒醉的低吟，都离不开女孩的名字。
还有什么叫疯狂吗？

感动！
男孩得到了女孩的感动！
还有歉疚！
男孩永远无法得到女孩的爱。

丘比特的恶作剧？月老的童心？
制造了两个人这样的关系。

男孩完全不计较回报的付出、
不计较目的的爱永远都只能得到感动和歉疚。
“如果你给我一个机会，你会知道我对你的爱有多深。”
“好，我可以做你女朋友，但我却不能做到爱你。”
“如果你能爱我，我可以用我的一切去换。”
“你知道这是……不可能的……”

女孩哭了，男孩想哭，却忍住了，他知道了自己该做什么。
让自己心爱的人伤心，比让自己伤心要更痛苦十倍。
爱一个人，无论用什么方法都要让她幸福，让她快乐。

第二天，男孩变了……
没有了以往的痴情，没有了以往的眷念，也没有了以往的疯狂。
男孩以后再也没有去找过女孩，甚至再也没有说过一句话……
仿佛这段故事就随着太阳的升起而结束……
…………

故事还是没有结束……
v有人说，时间能冲淡一切，但也有人说，时间能证明一切。

三年后，
当男孩和女孩即将结束学业，各奔前程的时候，
当男孩和女孩分离后也许再也不能相见的时候，
当女孩仿佛想到做点什么的时候，突然听到男孩进了医院的消息。
“为了救一个小孩，被汽车撞了，还没有度过危险期……”医生如是说。
女孩哀求着想要见他，医生不同意。

“那求你转告他让他一定要坚强地活下来，
因为我……我发现我非常的爱他……”
医生在昏迷不醒的男孩耳边如实说了这句话。
医生仿佛看到男孩皱紧的眉头微微地松开了，嘴角泛起一丝笑意……
但是不幸，第二天早上，随着太阳的升起，
一个灵魂同时离开了它的躯体开始飞升……

女孩又哭了，男孩没有哭，临死的时候，嘴角泛着微微的笑容。
在墓碑前，女孩仿佛听到男孩的声音：
“我希望能永远看到你快乐幸福的笑脸……”

此后，女孩一直快乐坚强地生活，再也没有伤心过。
也许在别人看来，故事的结局未免不太完美，并不圆满，
但是不正如男孩所希望的，女孩得到了幸福与快乐。
也许曾经你的生命中也深爱着这样一个人，
由于种种原因，你们却永远无法在一起，
你怎么面对的呢？

不过，请记住：
爱一个人，
无论用什么方法都要让她幸福，让她快乐。
即使，要你选择放弃。
　
恭喜你，你收到了来自你朋友的这样一份祝福，你是幸福的人。请你继续将本页面转发下去，给更多的人带来幸福，带来快乐。传递给5个人，你就会发现你的人际关系变化了。谢谢。

0-4 人: 给别人带来快乐的人是最快乐的。
5-9 人: 给你带来快乐的人即将出现。
9-14 人: 马上就会有幸福的暗示了。
15 人以上:你的梦想终会成真。



A page send from a friend

-Shawn.

I was molested several times by 7 men in life.

Drafted 23 June, 1:50pm

Relating to Just Jean on her recent molest case, I can only say man is always a man, only with some diguised behind an invisible mask, while others truly gentlemanly with bundled colorful tails. With Jean being a victim, I read how unsympathatic remarks were made towards her:

"Seeing how desperate she is for a rich boyfriend, she probably seduced this "John" with the hope of landing a golden goose. Cry wolf when things didn't go her way. WTF she gotta be dumb.

At least John did not force it and eventually apologised to her when he realised she did not want "it".

She probably thought her CB made of gold. Good riddance."

What happened is her full story like this.

Molested by what she reckoned to be a nice, approachable guy friend when in Korea sharing the same bed spending 4 nights together, he actually sexually offended her on their 4th night.

Digging further into her story: The guy friend woo her for 2 years & parted $48,000 loan for her studies or car purchasing (rumoured both).

He initiated a hug she agreed and continue as friend with a later journey together in Korea, leading to the molest of what most accused or assumed to be a luring sex trap.

She later returned to Singapore telling her friends via MSN about the molest, while the man decided to sue her against defamation and demanding back the $48k he loaned her.

Other's view:

* Some People penalize her for seducing him and tagged her as a slut or whore.

* Some pity, sympathize her plight & morally supported her.

My view:

* I don't think trading $48,000 would mean an obedience sexual touch on the skin. The girl is not obliged to do so, she was accidentally forced (in the hotel).

* Any modesty outrage invaded is a legal offence in any country.

* She was probably surprise-fright and intimidated for she can be raped the next moment.

* However, we couldn't justified anything on this case as John shoot the arrow back at her.

* It became a black turn white, & white becomes black kinda situation; since the guy had pushed back the blame and shrug it off as the hug Jean (Amy) initally agreed him.

* News & forums' comments semi-confuse me into her real intention yet she is indeed victimised. I saw her image in the water like this case, couldn't see clearly what's right or wrong.

* Not many answer her call for help instead labelling her deservings. Tofu gobbled and men name it chicken pea, is the world so modernised???!!!


Too much mix feelings went through me when I saw her plight. It refreshes some dirty memories buried in my heart where only close friends knew.

I'm not too sure if any other girls were molested when they were young, or whether it is actually common or not to go through at least once in our lifetime.

I'm lucky to grow up mentally sound despite those despicable shadow.

Some friends knew about 1 or 2 of my molest case. But I've been keeping mum for the past 20 over years.

I was molested since I was very young before I even reached puberty & thru' the different stages of life till my early sec. I really wouldn't want to go into details about the past molest case at this point of time. It was dated times back. I never dare to tell any of my family members or report to the police, I only know how to keep it to myself.

I would describe it as embarrassed, shamed, lost, worried and scared.
* Worried what might happened if such were reported to the police.
* Was too stunned back then after each incident.
* Embarrassed to tell my family as we never share such topic, dunno how to put words into mouth.

Therefore I knew most girls who were molested must have felt like me, unless firstly encouraged by friends or teachers, as friends would be the first we'd confide in.

If I were to write a post of molest case each, I guess I can spread mine over a week of 7 molest cases each featuring a different men, some whose still boys back then.

I still remembered clearly each of those incidents, where and how it took place, where some of them used to stay, who they are, some family's friend's son, family's friend, some bastard whom I knew, some friend's bro and even some stranger.

This is definitely not something glorious to speak about, probably a person's rep might be even put down. Even if I dun uncover such truth today, I will still do so sometime after cos' I want to share all of the geuine roller coaster life encounter. All those unlucky/bad encounters that many ppl might never have the chance to try. Hence, I was already very reserved as I knew this is public. Nonetheless, I am just a minor on this planet.

It was very upsetting histories that could never be erased. Life goes go & those people who molested got away scott-free, except one who was punched like a pig-head on his birthday by my ex. It was never a fair society, especially preying for young underage girls who had no rational and was naive and pure.

It took me some courage to write this little piece of thing, even to publish it after hesitating few days to firm this post. So, when openly opening up means opening up gracefully, I shouldn't be shamed at the expense of others' fault, neither should it be tag as a dirty linen. The 7 days story might probably never be published. I probably couldn't face any insult or unbearable remarks for sharing the story.

Becos':

MAN's shoe is always different from...


...a WOMAN's heel.

Dedication to the man I love

Drafted on 26 June, 4.34am

Dearest Dear,

Today ain't any special day at all. It's past anniversary & way pre-birthday.

This ain't going to be a romantic lovey dovey mushy letter; yet it translate pouring fullness of my inner thoughts.

Just even on a pretty normal day in midst intersection of dark & dawn, after 9 years 3 months 11 days 7 hours & 14 mins; I'm still so crazily in love with you.

I am so bless that you pretty much felt the same & sacrificing tediously for my sake.

I am always the lovely weapon that hook you back and go haywire to you, my warrior knight on the frontier. Nonetheless, no hesitation & complaint intrude your love for it.

My inspiration to pen this sudden thoughts is just that I really miss you at times; perhaps when I need you most by my side.

Career is perking and I do not wish to splash cold water and wet slippery your stable feet, so don't worry about me & work just as you do now.

You are always there when I need you the most, I guess I can no longer find a better man; who...

* Bath me and care me when I had a month-long chicken pox.
* Lost & Frantically rush for me when I was robbed.
* Hug me tightly to sleep & pray with me when I'm afraid.
* Long hours of breathless accompanying & encouragement when I was down.
* Bring me different sorts of self-creation tasty cakes for my annual hatchday.
* Give a thought to each carefully words selection for the sensitive me.
* Always staying put with my forgetfulness, carelessness, & non-mindfulness.
* Did not held it against me when insurance was burnt even if liable to collect the insured sum.

The above sentence might sound like you're very caring towards me. But I guess only you and I know our hard-to-hard temper. It does not shows how deserving I am or the hardship we went thou' cos' it's not here to prove. It's sufficient to be kept for you can sense it more than anyone.

Which in fact, you are an extreme male chauvinist, although loving me very much.

You are NOT...

* very romantic
* full of surprises
* equilibrium with my standview

with acquiring sensitive quick temper.

yet you are churning my heart with your constantly improving change & forgiving attitude towards the stubborn, immature, super hot-tempered, careless & not-so-up to expectation letting down ME'!

But I can never thank you enough for your unconditional love.

Because no one is flawless, I'm loving you including accepting your flaw.
(Cannot love a perfect person, but instead loving an imperfect person perfectly is what we are actually implying)

I'm really glad I survived pass 2007. So 2008 should be chicken feet if nothing further crops up.

I love you dear!

When total darkness fall, you're my chronicle candle;
when sea boat capsize, you're my life-saving jacket;
when cruel tonardo swept, you're my hanging pillar;
when devil crept in, you're my legendary inspiration;
when danger befall; your magic spell illusioned my invisibility!

- Girl to dear :p

(Literary Works Copyright)

This post so reminds me of a post I wrote in between our angry quarrel & cooling period on da' same day. Which describe the bitterness in the inital sentences to the emotional thoughts at the bottom poem.

Only what different is... I'm fondly thinking & missing you now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This post ends here.

You know who this is for...actually it's meant to be kept...he has already seen it...but I promises to publish all drafts, didn't i?

My glads & regrets

Drafted on 27 June, 1.28pm

How shall we talk about life?

A something that everyones tumbles through old age.

How many regrets and wrong path we took on a forwarding rocky road with no U-turn sign?

The glads turn into wonderful memories that can never replay the same as the oldies black tape.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The post ends here.

This post is rather short, cos my pen drawn deeply into my faculty of thinking. I shall continue from here...

Many a times, we graze through pending regrets of unamended momentums. I have had many of such times so often...

I'll go with regrets first...

1) Not treasuring Pennies...
...When I used to make a lot of money, I regret not treasuring each penny, but spending hard. I spend on so many things because money comes to me pretty effortless...
...& now that I'm in a little deep shit, I just once again re-acknowledge how lovely, cute & beautiful money is. (Perhaps it's a punishment for negligence to re-alight my fault)

2) My tattoo...
...The first time I had it on me was on at age 15. Cheap ink prints at 90 bucks on my back...? who would have known an easily covered-up area would turn to become a big blemish on a bride's halter or tube gown. Luckily my long hair has always hidden it well...(I went through sufferings of pain to laser-rid it 20 over times, it was still to no avail...,tattooing comes cheap & painless...while lasering brings pricey pains)

3) Not completing my studies...
...Should I put it as I pick the wrong course, or I failed to...Alright I chose CIM, & just completing one cert & given all up cos I find it pretty hard, especially for a non-working adults in my years 19 at that time...no confidence to complete 2 more certs before jumping to master degree...

I got another choice at that time...to go straight into 2nd year of completing bachel0r degree with my diploma in BA...bah..2 more years to get hold of tat piece of degree. Well..cos I think getting another higher qualification is none as crucial as making money at that point of time, anyway there's no limitation of age to studying...but looking back...to going thru' it once more for the need to use it at some moments...just *sigh...

4) Bad financial classification...
...Like I said we spend $ wrongly all the times, be it business or social...Planning on finances was never our specialty. But it definitely has to be one...as it is the most important one..To start all over again - simply means REGRETS..


My glads now... =D

1) I got the right man...
Remember everytime people said: 男怕入错行, 女怕嫁错郎! (The man fear of entering the wrong profession, the woman fear of marrying the wrong husband!)
...Need I spell further?

2) Comprehended life...
My roller coaster life brings me into the new light of life, I begin to comprehend life in this world...

3) ...I don't really wanna mention too much, I've gain... & lost...I'm worried that things here will no longer be around....

Sorry...Notice

I know I've been lacking of substantial gd post...

I'm busy after settling all the office stuff ending the 2 yrs contract & clearing so many many items at the 1700 sq ft office warehouse.

Got so many dues to keep in checks every now & then...

So many things to settle back at job...

So many gd photos to upload...

So many lovely food & gd restaurant for intro...

So many many things to say & write it down...So many even thou' this blog is just 3 months old ~ it is already taking up a whooping space of 125 posts...Wow! Congrats ah~

I need time ya'...

Tomorrow & the day after, & another day after (Fri, Sat, Sun) I'll be posting up my drafts...yes...drafts are not finished yet... (with the next 3 days draft-post depicting the most important among all)

Stay tuned...

和尚与屠夫 Monk & Butcher

One of my customer sms me this which I find quite interesting...

从前有一个和尚和一个屠夫是好朋友。 和尚天天早上要起来念经, 而屠夫天天早上要起来杀猪。 为了不耽误他们各自的工作, 于是他们约定互相叫对方起床。

多年以后...

和尚和屠夫相继逝世. 屠夫去了天堂, 而和尚却下了地狱。

为什么?

因为屠夫天天做善事, 叫和尚起来念经。

而和尚天天叫屠夫起来杀生!

这故事告诉我们什么?...

不要叫人家起床杀生! 哈!

(我: 哎呀! 这故事又让我想起了一个人啊!)


Once, a monk & a butcher were good friends. Every morning the monk wakes up to chant Buddhist scriptures, while the butcher kill pigs. In order to not delay their respective task, thereupon they make mutual promises to wake their counterparts.

Many years later...

The monk & the butcher pass away in succession. The butcher goes to heaven, however the monk go down to hell!

Why?

Because everyday the butcher is doing charity work, waking the monk to chant prayers.

Yet the monk wakes the butcher up to kill life daily!

What does this tale tells us?...

Not to wake people up from their bed to kill life! Ha!

(Me: My God! This narrative reminds me of someone again ah!)

Charity Organization Breaks Confidence

First the big hoo-ha abt NKF (National Kidney Foundation), next is the other largest charity Ren Ci hospital, Venerable Ming Yi who accumulate people's belief in his charitable & brave act for charity donations are shattering the images of pure donation once again.

Behind the scenes are all cheats, loans, lies and breaching all trust placed upon. Now Ren Ci lost rights in granting tax exemptions for donors.

5 months ago, when the news published the processing of Commercial Affairs checks on several organization including Ren Ci, I expected this would happen too, just that after the NKF incident - I also begin to lose trust in certain organization as well.

Imagine these 2 cases are not involving amounts of $10,000 or $100,000 but several millions. $x,000,000.00, donated by kind-hearted saviours.

That was why initially I had difficulty choosing the right organization to donate as well. Guess donors wouldn't have a choice...

So in the end I selected thye hua kwan moral society. Reason being there several homes in Singapore, several disabled-equipped vans with dedicated staffs (seen by my own eyes), & best of all the unopened public commercialized exposure for donations. And that sum's up my consensus mind...

Maybe if there are more of such cases again, it's gonna be a 50-50 'tug-a-war' mind for considering donations...

Thankfully there are regular checks & probes conducted to suppress such accounts, at least donors feel appease with that.

What do you think?

Getting used to my short fringe

Drafted on 30th June, 1:31am

Eh? Another post again? So soon! Cos I suddenly recall to post my pic b4 I freaking shock my friends with "years' once" seldom-seen short fringe.

I've been contemplating to cut my fringe short for quite some time. Cos everyone is colouring brown & red & growing duper long hair & wearing contact lense & all these, & I'm suddenly bored by stuff like tat.

So, I decided to shortened my fringe, dye an almost black but deep brown colour, and cut away nasty frizz, but upset with the hairdresser "chopping" away my waist length hair to half length :c.

I'm also gonna ditch coloured lenses for some time cos I suddenly feel that amongst too many pairs of bewildering coloured-lense eyes, the beauty of original ethnic asian eyes becomes predominated to me, & I simply love the wholly clean honey eye look instead of those flowery colour edges.

Reflections of my current hairstyle (I felt I look):
* Sweeter
* Younger
* Simpler
* Purer
* In short, the girl next door look la'!
* Smaller face hidding my baby fats marvellously
* Astounding jap look in real life (after make-up)


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This post ends here.

Oh well, actually cos' I hesitated in posting the pic with short fringe, cos it's so not like me, so 'gkin-na', & I'm so desperately waiting for it to grow long. I really wouldn't cut it short again cos I dun think it suits me. So -> this also means I'll never cut my hair short too cos I'm so afraid of regrets...

Revive My Blog Post!!!

I am a free woman

Drafted 4th July, 5:19pm

Yes. Today a huge load or rather; burdens of failure was removed. The failure from my biz, i mentioned some times ago.



Zzsk........I bought the stock & import in solely by me, so sad it's all gonna send away by my both hands as well. Losses made, lessons learnt. It was all too precious thru' the 2 yrs ordeal.


What it takes to be a successful entrepreneur, I guess ultimately u need a tad bit of luck + decisiveness, good planning, ingredients of tonnes of money on good foresighted investments or tough batches of experiences + good networking, never-say-die attitude mix with straightforward bull power & tortoise winning game. (plan, prepare, discuss, survey, plan, sampling, testing, plan and discuss...look forward & never turn back)

I failed...I hope I learn hard from what I failed & pick up some wisdom subjects. Thou' not terribly, i begin to realize how lovely & precious each penny is worth for an introductory biz. Having spent loads of money on a big & beautiful office fully alarmed, cctv, beautified & complete yet not doubling or tripling the principle in 24 months, or simply not breaking even its cost is a burst to the chest.

If u ever knew you'd strike a lottery or inherit some money, & you're planning on not squandering it but investing in a business, you've got ready cash and you know you'll be able to cover d' intended expenses u gonna incurred, would u fork out for what you would be able to afford & fit into a lovely office? Ultimately who knows? Who knows one day the polar zone turns hot?

No, was the firm answer & reason. Offsetting the liability of an office requires good sales work. No sales + good office = die. The same goes with restaurants and retail front. Beautiful shop or beautiful ambience, no customers! Then what's the point?

Haizz..never too late then never, sometimes I wondered why I've seen so much troubles, and met so much problems, which had never ocurred or unexpectedly occurred. I wish I could just freely express them on my blog, so sad to be a haste to keeping secrets I wish to divulge in emotions. I never smile as much since I turn adulthood.

I'm always like this once in a while or rather too often, so often that my fluctuating mood swing affects other, so often that I can be an actress laughing at this moment, crying the next, or sadness turn anger...

I'm still glad that even if I'm reduced to nothing, I still have good & supportive families.
Life goes on...just that I'm always on the pessimistic sides...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The post ends here.

Hmm..i take a step back, wanting to hold my venting nag that so often received. Till now, i'm almost done with the shit. My nightmare for so long a time is gonna be lifted soon. I'll be letting off a big heave of all burdens inside me very soon. The arrangements, the movements, the tears of facing this stuff is gonna be thrown off ~ i'm so glad thou' things r not almost back on track entirely, I've learn to lead a life that brings happiness and best of all contentment.

Who can live a life with content i believe is great establishment, and now I can smile proudly & say I'm achieving it deep within my heart & not on the surface.

I grew to:

~ Love my job

~ Love my environment

~ Love my Life

~ Lead happiness truthfully where materials are secondary non-obession

People sudden change....

When u ask em' 100 times to quit certain acts, they accepted with heedlessness;

But only when their red lights start blinking, no value of intrusive is required to get their butts moving.

... ... ...

Red Cliff

You know holding the butter manju cake will lit up glitters in envy eyes, cos of the long queue.. yeah, I'm pretty busy and lazy to review what I eaten (actually got too many pictures la'), but yesterday I watched a fantastic movie, the red cliff.

The Red Cliff (Chibi in Chinese pronounciation) was based on the history of a true decisive battle in China prior to the period of the Three Kingdoms in China between the allied forces of the southern warlords Liu Bei and Sun Quan, and the numerically superior forces of the northern warlord Cao Cao.

Read more at Wikipedia

There was an earlier movie acted by Andy Lau ~ Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon.

Both superstar of the 2 movies (Tony Leung & Andy Lau) were great in their acting skills, their expression especially! The blink or squeeze of the eyes, the frown on the brows, the victory smile or the worriness in their facial expressions is what's worth paying the dollars at the cinema.

While Resurrection of the dragon is heroic & agrressive one man show's fighting, the Red Cliff promises of strategic stride to read opponent's mind and employ strategic formations to attack or defend.

Great show, really!

Real or False

Drafted 7 June 2008, 2:43pm

1 big lie:

~I've never considered plastic surgery of any kinds before

2 big secrets:

~I'm a half Malaysian-blood breed in Singapore;
~I'm raised without a father, & almost in entirety mother as well

3 big truths:

~I love crowds especially for bbq, b'day or parties

~I hate my step-father, in fact, I'm extremely reluctant to use the word "FATHER" on any one

~I hate eating alone in public, especially in coffeeshop or hawker, I think I catch glimpse of watchful eyes; or maybe I'm paranoid!

4 big favourites:

~

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The post ends here.

Well...I tot I wouldn't like to divulge secrets abt me hence it becomes a draft; but hack-care, since i decided to blog abt my draft ~ it's none's concerned.

My list can just go on & on abt my this & that.

Butter Manju Cakes

So many thanks to Cody, I managed to mouthed the long-awaited Manju Cakes.
I timed it ~ it was 1 hr 15 mins ;p.

Initally I tot red bean was good; anyway I bought 5 red beans & 5 custards.
Turns out to be the custard that majestically impress.

Not gonna blog long, I'm gonna go for "Mountain durian" (Sua Teng Dew Lian - in Hokkien) ordered by dear at Dempsey, after that gonna catch the preview of "Red Cliff".

Shall blog tomorrow. Gotta many many things on hand right now!

C'iao!

This kind of fucked-up ppl actually exist

Drafted post on 7/7/08 3.00pm

How much education did your family & school taught, or rather how much life lesson on society have you morally learnt? I believe they dun teach a shit of despising ppl or acting arrogantly or snobbish. So this means any act of 6 gd characters & 7 bad behavioural is picked up from surroundings, ppl & events?

What am I rambling abt?

I seldom speak abt my work. But If I do it'll most probably land in sarcastic or censure remarks.

It's a common trade
~ second-hand mobile telecommunications.

What's so bad about this job?

• I wear whatever clothes I fancy to wear


• I get my hands on the latest model of pre-owned handphones at times


• trying out different models of handphones till I get bored


• Talk & Talk & Talk with customers, neighbours, on the phone... ...


• Freedom of using lappie serving whatever web i desire throughout the entire free time


• I get to sit till my butt crack


• I get to daydream loads


• ..........


• ......


• ..


• & the list goes on....
  
  Decent enough? Is it not respectable? In foreign lands like Japan ~ high respects to air stewardess, in England maid ~ highly salaried, even some hookers are proud of their job.
  
  So, who's this shit that actually despise others when others are not despising em'self?
  
  Wonder if he's worth mentioned a role of character in this post?
  
  ?????----What happened?
  
  With a woman his (cousin, wife, gf, sister? whatever) & i suppose mother?,
  
  (First few lines of the conversation)
  
  He asked: "Do you have E51?"
  
  I answered: "No."
  
  He jabber away: "Why all phones don't have?"
  
  I: (look at him, clearing my ear & refreshing what he said in a silent moment) look at his "mum" & "sister" before speaking in an irritated voice (obviously there was a silent paused for abt 1-2 mins before my unrequested reply) "This is a second-hand shop, not all models are available. "
  
  
  Yes. One word from him & I am so angry.

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The post stopped here.

- I hesitated in publishing this draft cos my anger goes off in a zooOOOOOOOM...& I don't feel like mentioning it as afterall it's just a minor jack & REALLY don't wish to divulge anything abt my job lor.

- But since I decided to post my draft unaltered - That's it la'!

Blog is not fast enough to capture feelings.

Sometimes I feel hot, at times I feel sad...

It seems the leftover of feeling lingers on..
but anger moments passing swiftly..

So, whenever I write a post, and almost finishing it, I never post, cos I dun feel like posting.

Ended up with many pcs of drafts in my posting, like unpublished photos in the computer albums...

I decided to come clean with what I write, never letting any emotions or surroundings to suppress me..and to publish my drafted post either in its completed/unfinished/at the beginning of the dot stage (natural form); on the following few days with an explaination of why I stopped at it...

It's gonna be interesting, cos it's like demo tapes unrevealed.

Counting it...it's more than 10.
So, my virtual drafts will be ideas transposing into physical post for the next 2 weeks :)

It's building inspiration on inspiration killed.

Undeniably Inhumane - Stop Canada's Cruel Seal Hunt

Sometime ago, I received this in my email:

How would you like it to be whacked hard over the head as a 'sport'!?

Norway and Canada have a new kind of tourism. Killing baby seals. They call it a 'sport'..

You want to call this a sport ?

Is he a sportsman?

Why?

You're our only hope !!!

This barbarism shouldn’t be possible in our society..

Don’t turn your back on us, we are defenseless

I know these images seem painful for you, but we feel the pain. We are being slaughtered and its going on RIGHT NOW...

What gives him the right to kill us? Who is he to decide about life and death?

What kind of sport is this? I didn’t harm anyone. I was just swimming around..

Please help me and my friends...

You cant just ignore these images.. Keeping silent and doing nothing makes you guilty...

Please help us

Please don’t leave us alone...




STOP THE KILLING OF SEALS You can make a statement by reposting this to get as many people as you canto repost this.

Bring these murderers to the attentionof world leaders. Thank you!!!!

Please continue spreading and posting this link around.

Go Ga-Ga over Food Tour & Hokkaido Fair!!!

(Note: No edition was done on any of the food photos you are about to see.)

I've been dieting since July 1st.
Yet on:

1st July, I had a sudden sumptuous 'tze cha' feast with my family & there goes my fruity diet;

1 whole guava = 3x's more vitamin C than an orange :)

2nd July, I held no refrain towards Meiji chocolate $1.60

(Bitter Black won't kill diet pig, ain't it?);

3rd July, Durian at Balestier Rd + Laksa with Chin Chow at $3.00 nett at Quality Hotel (WOW! Cheap!) hence Killing my Sushi Diet; Calorie count per sushi rice 30, with stuffing about 40-50 calories :)

4th July, the first day of Hokkaido fair, I spare no thoughts in trying out at least one of the stores after grabbing a $2 double cheeseburger at MacDonalds so I tried this;

Hokkaido Curry Bun

Which in actual fact was presented in the colour below:

Reviews:

Thumbs up: Authentic Jap curry flavor. Simply the jab of Jap food with the very saltish or very sweetish taste; In this case it falls over to the sweet strong curry lingering aroma. The puffing skin is not too thick, it's chewing texture was compatible with the wrap-in amount of curry mixture.

Improvements to be made: It was not piping hot when bought, so it will not shoot your eyes to a blink with the first bite.

Ratings: I would give it a 3/5. For those who wants to try the authentic Jap curry flavor.

5th July, Croquette! If I'm not wrong, there are about 10 flavors. The price ranges btw $1.90 - $3.40

1) Potato
2) Corn
3) Pumpkin
4) Crab cream - $3.40 I wanted to try this but gotta wait so I choose another.
5) Vegetable
6) Curry
7) Onion cream
8) Shrimp cream
9) White curry
10) Cream stew - My choice

Cream stew Croquette

Haha...this is just the frying oil...


This is the one! It's wicked look makes me go hungry...

Reviews:

Thumbs up: Nice! Favourites for children. Thou' the outer skin is not wondrously crispy, the inner creamy fillings compensated for it. Subtle and smooth taste, with bits of vegetable, carrot & corn. Yum Yum.

Improvements to be made: It is not hot, so don't expect startling surprise of first few bites.

Ratings: I would give it a 4/5. Would be best if it is served hot.

Otaru Sweet Potato

The sweet potatoes are all going by weight. I selected the lightest weight (cheapest) one, as it was meant to be a one-man portion. It cost me $6.80. Some others would cost up to $14++

It was still warm...

The sides towards my finger is the real deal!

The 1st layer is soft skin made from the sweet potato. I could taste 1 or 2 small sugar. It's soft but the surface outlook looks a little like the Indian tissue prata.

There are a few layers blended in if you eat in a single scoop, but is actually separated.

The 2nd layer consist of sweetened mashed sweet potato fillings. I believed this portion is sweetened otherwise it will be too bland for a mashed taste.

The 3rd layer is located somewhere in the middle of this pie, and is not spread through the whole middle layer, just a small portion if you manage to taste it. This layer is what I believed to be the creamy egg curd, as I reckon it to be made from egg & milk.

The 4th layer is the original sweet potato unremoved for baking. I especially like this layer as I love the original flavour of sweet potato. A contrast to the 2nd layer yet is made from the same ingredient. Smart creation!

The 5th layer is the last layer of the sweet potato skin. It really goes well with any of the above 4 layers, especially with the original 4th layer of sweet potato. Really really yummy!

The 5th layer sweet potato skin. One of the best part that made up this delight.

Reviews:

Thumbs up: A must try! It is definitely very nice. It's been a long time since I tasted something like this. It definitely taste better than cakes and is on par with cheesecake, oh well for cheesecake lover u should know what i mean. The first mouth makes it irresistible for a second, and the second for more & forth. It's so yummy & sweet, u'll smile eating this!

A sinful worthy dish! Smart creation with layers of layers fully co-exist for one another!

Improvements to be made: As I am having the portion all to myself, the mashed portion might seem a tad bit chunky, especially since it's sweetened. To ensure not overly sick of this layer, lessening just a wee bit of this part is most ideal.

Will definitely goes well with chilled sky-water, but not any other beverages.

Ratings: I would give it a 5/5. Best to share with lovers. Snatching the portion making it seems never enough like sharing a pack of fries is the best best best!!

Some other items sold at Otaru includes:

Sweet potato as mentioned $2.80 per 100g & pudding at $4.20 which I haven't try.

I think this is the rare cheese ? choco tart. Sorry I couldn't make out the words as it was too fuzzy & my eyes was so glued to so many food at one time :p

& this, sweet house roll.

Anytime btw 6th - 13th: I might be sourcing for... ...

perhaps cheesecake 4 pcs @ $9.00 (looks damn yummy!)

...maybe takoyaki 6 pc @ $5.80.

...Shisamo?...sapporo beer...?

mango gelato ice cream @ $4.00

.............................crab @ $80++++++ dollars

& the "SUPERSTAR" item of all, that was on long queue on it's first day, and a total sold-out @ 8.30pm, a freaking 2 hours queue on the 2nd day, arghhhh...so i'm so gonna chase after it "DIE-DIE" on monday.

Featuring the much awaited "SUPERSTAR":

I will definitely get my hands mouth on this!!!

The experience at this Hokkaido fair was somewhat similar to the Penang feast in Goodwood Park Hotel. Experiencing taste of food that is different to what is offered locally. Thou' this is not the 1st Hokkaido fair in Singapore, it is my first time experiencing it, and it made me curious if these stores are actually physical in Hokkaido.

In Sapporo its famous for Ramen, but I've not seen any Ramen store. Perhaps the mall is too packed with crowds that I missed it, or maybe it was not invited to the fair. Hmm...a little disappointed thou'. I don't think it's due to Ajisen's existence there, Mos Burger was there too but croquette is still selling, rite?

Hmm...so much so for my yo-yo diet. Never go on a diet cos' good food will come & taunt you.

;p [Are you hungry?]

I'm damned!

I just wrote a post which converts into draft. Seems like what I've wrote for the most of last few posts conform into draft works. I don't know why. Not that I don't feel like blogging, just somehow I'm not ready to relate some true feelings to the public. What I wrote is not deservingly enough to belong in d' highly confidentiality profile thrown into my secret blog, but I think "FEAR" describes it.

Fear is the word for scrutinizing minds might be scouring my blog for flashing too much my inner reflections. Anyway, nobody bothers anyway & hey, it's my blog & I do what I want is what most shout! But, somehow I dun feel so lately. I feel more & more as revealing my feeling is like proving or showing others my life.

Damned! I want to blog but I dun want to show. It's contradicting, isn't it?

If only I could desert such feelings and ignore visitors as if its invisible, I'll probably blog till 'HIGH'!

Gosh, somebody teach me!

Should I just blog about food & nothing here, and blog elsewhere secretly about me? Ohhhhwwww................................

I want to read the post xiaxue deleted!!! !!!

Hi everyone, I'm so inquisitive about the latest post on June 30 that Xiaxue had blogged. I'd like to see what she has written and the seemingly interesting photos she had posted. Any idea of the whole contents any kind soul would tell me? I'd so much like to know abt the facts or fiction that she wrote about Dawn. Yet, all I can only make do is imaginative narration from the freaking 298 comments. *Blame the 'kaypoh' me for not updating myself at the blog. Haizz.

I, myself believed that Dawn Yang really made up a lot of false information to the public instead of the real truth, and is trying hard to prove herself innocence from every tiny point view.

Beauty lies!!! Beauty lies deep within!!!

Anyone out there to correct me? or tell me more abt it?

What did she say?? What did she say????

If you are kind & helpful enough, please email me at: mysharoning@gmail.com.

Thanks in advance!!! !!!

I so regret for missing out this Best Entry!!!!!!

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UPDATES: I've managed to find the whole entry! haha :D

A little bit of everything

July was a good start thou' July 2nd isn't as well. I woke in the morning to do my skipping exercise at the balcony while in between short breaks I gazed down a few times, finding myself glancing at a few guys playing basketball with one very familiar face & naked body wearing shorts. The laughter & actions further affirmed this person's identity as Mr Steven Lim.

I continued with my skipping, took a bath, and for a start after a good rest for nearly 2 months, I'm ready to start work.

The day was ended with a warming meal with my family at Old Airport Rd Hawker Center. After that, I went to count the pallets of stuff in the office cos' we'll be donating it to the Salvation Army, at the same time shifted some items back home.

There was this selfish gesture of kindness by a stranger I met at the industrial building while I was myself making my way slowly down the slope, this Indian or Bangalore stranger who was supposed to go up the lift to his destination, upon seeing me going down the slope, quickly rushed out of the lift and firmly stop the trolley and hold onto it to roll in a stable slow motion sliding its way down.

I thanked him thou' he tot I couldn't cope with the loads, I had actually taken the capacity that I knew I'm able to handle. Still, such thoughtful and selfish gesture are surely appreciated. Perhaps kindness do begets kindness, like how I usually help out ppl voluntarily. It just made ppl feel good to be of help & others thankful when they needed help. :)

Oh ya' abt my hair:

I've been contemplating to cut my fringe short for quite some time. Cos everyone is colouring brown & red & growing duper long hair & wearing contact lense & all these, & I'm suddenly bored by stuff like tat. So, I decided to shortened my fringe, dye an almost black but deep brown colour, and cut away nasty frizz, but upset with the hairdresser "chopping" away my waist length hair to half length :c.

I'm very satisfied with my shortened hair length, cos it has the healthiest hair ends with no split-ends. Just that I'm saddened with my fringe as it was not what I expected it to be. Never mind, few months later I know it'll look great. Just a fresh look for a change now, perhaps a new hairstyle bless me gd luck ;)

I'm also gonna ditch coloured lenses for some time cos I suddenly feel that amongst too many pairs of bewildering coloured-lense eyes, the beauty of original ethnic asian eyes becomes predominated to me, & I simply love the wholly clean honey eye look instead of those flowery colour edges.

I'm still at work now. Today is pretty much quieter...