Bad July

I'm so afraid...

Last year, in 2008 ah ma passed on in July, on the 29th, which 2 weeks earlier was when she fell sick.

This year 2009, ah gong got a seizure on 15th July Wed. It was the 1st episode but a recurring scare of the 3rd time for me.

The 1st time: The day when ah ma died, ah gong got shock, lost control & hence kept dropping the phone he was holding. He talk slow and seems a little lost.

The 2nd time: About 2 or 3 months back, the day when we visited ah ma for praying, once again he felt dizzy and couldn't think well. Reaction was slow and insensitive to the surrounding.

The 3rd time: (Ever since he had such problems, I'm always on the lookout for any of his face changes, actions, reactions and so forth) On 15th July, while we were dining, half-way thru', I noticed that his face doesn't seem quite right to me and something was wrong, and while i was guessing a right & prompt if he was alright, his eyes rolled up shortly after, still with food in his mouth, then became unconscious for a short moment like a min or less.

The maid & I were shouting and shaking him to wake. While I was calling for the 995 emergency, he then opened his eyes and realized himself after some short secs. Quickly the maid removed the food in his mouth and fed him some water.

The paramedics arrived and his under good controlled blood pressure was measured a high shot of about 178 for the systolic taking. They asked questions which I answered and suspected he might be suffering from a mild stroke.

That day itself, I found over the net information on mild stroke and truely it matches the description of his conditions I witnessed. The next day, on the 16th, thursday I brought him to a polyclinic for checkup as well as obtaining a referral letter as I knew he must need to have to go thru' some scans.

I drove him to sgh after polyclinic and checked him into the A & E, as i dun wanna wait for the appointment date. Some checks and scans went thru that day and he was hospitalised for other checks. I suffered one of the hugest blow of my life on that day, when the doctor told me that he had a huge mast/tumor on his lung and is suspected diagnose of cancer. Unsure whether the doctor had roughly told him about his conditions or overhearing our conversation, he seemed teary-eyed after the doctor examined him in the evening. I knew he knew about it and find it hard to accept. I held on to my tears that day and brave a front before him till I was on my way home.

I find it hard to accept.

The woman that I loved had left me.
Except for my hubby, ah gong was the next person in my life I loved & treasured most. The one who brought me up twenty-over years, to school with morning breakfast of milo, bread or eggs, to doctors whenever I am sick, bought me anything I ever wanted, gave me lots & lots of pocket money, showered me with lots & lots of love.

I am just like a superglue to him when I was young, so sticky and sleeping with him always, snatching his bolster and hanging on to him when he was driving. Always ah gong driving around, and ah ma carrying me until I fell asleep on her. I missed all those, I wouldn't want them to leave me, I hoped for the time to stop.

Y must they love me so much for me to suffer such pains when I grow up, (they c me growing when I was a baby) and now here i am taking a reverse turn of taking care of them instead, driving them around but (suffering to c them dying) instead.

I prayed hard for ah gong that few days, it was a highly possible chance of cancer and the doctor had prep me for it. Ah gong stayed for 4 days. We didn't stay for the 1st day as we didn't prepare anything, but the maid accompanied ah gong in the hospital on the 2nd & 3rd night, followed by me staying on the 4th night. On the 5th day morning, doctors wanted a biopsy, telling me that there is a 1% chance of heart attack or lung collapse. It was a big hesitation for me, I couldn't bring myself to do anything like that. Ah gong did not go thru' any of the soft persuasion too, as he thinks 69 is bad digit for the age and he will not want to go thru any ops or such tests.

I didn't want to force him, but in fact could only gave him his wishes and whatever he needed for the moment. I've to spare all my secs in life for him and my hubby as much as possible. I wanna treasure everything that is going to be taken away from me with time.

Life is so fragile, we're not gonna have many 10 years, but rather unsure of even the next day or next hour. I want to love them so much so much...

PS: Ah gong is all well & gd, we're taking at least 3 to 4 measurements on his blood pressure & fever daily, but im like having an atomic bomb in me, juz tat i really don't know when it is going to explode. Really living with fear. Anyone if u c this, please help pray for my ah gong...(may u be blessed too)

Of late & my first time...

My first time yesterday using an ezlink card. Its been a long long time since i last took a bus. Since hubby had to use mine, for his is servicing, i had to borrow our maid's bus card to get to the gym.

Nowadays, buses are built pretty much spacious, and i realized that the best thing is there are no steps at the exit. It's flat, so i feel its safer. Its only 3 bus-stop away from my destination and it took less than 5 mins everytime, costing $0.69 per single trip, it not only much cheaper than 2hrs carpark cost ranging between $2.14 - $3.00++. Yes everytime i would be at the gym for about 2 to 3 hrs. So it's quite rush & I had to time my schedule to avoid d' extra $1+ charge for the carpark, and taking a bus definitely allows more time to shop around but also spend more more lah.

Still driving is convenient, park straight at the lot & took the lift up, of cos the hassle does not differ much, its only a habit we're used to. These days, I kept losing combs and even water bottle at the gym cos i forgot to keep after blow drying my hair. Argh...

Lately...we're browsing around for furnitures and going through the steps of planning for the home. It's quite interesting as we look around for different price tags of items such as hob and hood, toilet bowl, basin and etc. We also discuss design on furniture like dining table and computer table or so.

Saw a dining table made in germany at liang court we loved but did not commit and still thinking. Anyway i'm not sure if it'll match the reno of our house also, but its a unique piece, so mayb possibility quite high. Hmmm, c how first.

We had juz bought a sofa few days back from om @ liang court we both loved as it is huge and lush, 3 seater + corner + 2 seater, and our dream 46" samsung B7000 led tv today. After much survey these few months it is still d best tv around and tops our list, of cos if budget allows the dreamiest dream dream tv would be pioneer kuro, the latest version fully made in japan - woah definitely a super dream one, initally tot of buying, but budget la, better put aside for other usage: wat to do? Juz be contented as we had gotten some of the best already too. Some of our other choice are panasonic viera but the z series plasma is super duper overpriced, not value-for-money thou' it's using pioneer's panel. Wanted a plasma samsung B850, but still led is the best large tv for watching local tv show in comparison to other tv. So the decision is firm and rite. & We love wat we have.

Ai, hopefully everything goes smoothly cos hubby is working real hard, he really deserve all the finer things in life. I've not been able to help much, sometimes a lil guilty. Anyway we'll c how things work.

So, dear friends out that sorry if i had rejected the macau trip we're gonna enjoy (do u hear me dear zy & ht) and sorry if i may not be joining for d' bangkok trip too (dear janice frenzy). Cos my reason is I had to give up some to fulfill others. ...When things r rite...there's always another!

It's an enjoyable process. I will and want to remember it as much as possible.

Life is great; when we think it is.

Be thankful; so long as we're still breathing..

Omy Blog Award

Was going thru' my twitter account as i intend to add it here in the blog. Whilst scrolling thru' & deleting unwanted mails, I juz realized tat there's ppl who actually nominated my blog for the omy award in April. Thanks Alvinology!

Anyway it's too late to register for it. But was a happy surprise for me.

Been kicking & boxing too much for the past weekend. Sweat till the hair is very wet; the feeling is o-so-shiok!

But confessing tat I've been munching hard too...how to keep in shape this way?

Too much spare time on hands, will be blogging muchie too! =D

Continued back from d' last post

We didn't go to lunar that night, but went to our friend's newly opened place, Social House @ Liang Court.

Well, we enjoyed the night's off with lotsa boozing, laughing & entertaining within ourself. We were shown to how d' private karaoke rooms looked like, the jap restaurant menus, kitchen, and private party arena. We were entertained by dancing of some handsome dudes and a lot of sexy girls, there is even one girl who did a strip-tease dance (ps: down to wearing the minimum of cos).

I found pics of the cheongsam I'm wearing when I shown to Janice yesterday when she visited my place & my pup.


This is the one. When I was 19, waistline 23" :)

Remember we talked about my classes at amore. Well, so far I have attended quite a number of different classes. The first 2 was jazz & lo-impact (not stretchfit), then subsequently kickboxing new body, stretch fit. Then another class of stretch fit and lastly cardiolatino yesterday.

Let me go through one by one what I had learnt, the differences and processes I enjoyed.

Jazz: Its dance movement is graceful. But unlike those jazz dance that we see on Jacky Wu' s show where plenty girls danced, it look so nice & beautiful but in actual when I first learned, my hands and legs coordination wasnt' so good. Maybe I could have done better if I attend a few more lesson. Feel the sweat when its coming to the end part only.

Lo-impact: Well, I like this too, and am able to follow through what the instructor had taught, just that I feel the usage of arms, or toning of that area was not quite emphasize. But overall was great and fun, and involves those kind of cha cha cha moves too.

Kickboxing: Wow, I finally know why so many ladies attended this class. I must say it is very powerful. Powerful kicks, box, elbows, tummy hits and so, it was so forceful. The instructor is very good. She tells us not to knock on the door but to gives heavier punch or box when we perform those moves. She is not only graceful when doing the warm-ups & downs, she is definitely a motivating one.

It can get very very tiring doing the kickboxing with so many kicks. If my treadmill run can score me a heart rate of max 180's per min, then I guess this kickboxing would even more +++ it makes use of all our body parts. As I am a beginner and also a first-timer to this, it gets even more tiring...thou unsure if im juz building up my stamina. At times I find it difficult to even lift my legs, after lifting it for so many times. I confessed i even cheated a bit by skipping some moves or not working hard on certain moves.

Initially I thought, oh how come there is no short break at all, and we just keep continuing and continuing, I really really feel so much like stopping, but thanks to the encouraging instructor and the big group of class, it pushes me to go further.

I really loved this class and will go again & again. I wanna tone my body!!!

Next up was the new body class: This lesson was taught by the same kickboxing instructor, and was the next lesson after it on that saturday too. It makes use of dumb bells to tone our body parts. I loved this too as, she focus on our arms, thighs, abdominal, butts or etc.

But the part that I dislike is holding on to, or performing certain moves that held on to the weight, as of cos again to a greenhorn like me, I felt that my arms were super tiring, and the 2kgs dumb bell each on one side, eventually becomes like 5kgs after holding to some posture.

But I'll definitely go again for this class, as toning is very important, and it is one good class to attend, of cos with the motivation of this lady instructor.

Strechfit 1: The first stretch fit lesson I attended was taught by a petite instructor. She touches on stretching every parts of our muscles on the body, some simple yet useful moves. She mentioned that it helps to prevent breast cancer and osteoporosis, While doing certain stretch, we can hear some of the popping sounds, which is like air trap surrounding our bones area. Good instuctor, after the stretch my body felt relieved too.

Stretchfit 2: The 2nd stretchfit lesson was taught by another lady instructor, and this was her class after power yoga. I thought that some of her moves actually comprises those of yoga, and is a different version of the stretchfit class I had attended. She looked very nice & pleasant. I can't really define exactly how her stretch fit classes are like but there was also making use of the tummy area and butts area, which I like most too. Her class is enjoyable and relaxing. Love it!

Cardiolatino: Cha cha cha....More to the sexy dance move. This is the class taught by a male Phillipino instructor other than the jazz class I had previously attend. Wow, we can really learn how ppl dance cha cha. Just that I did it quite funny as inexperienced. Even sexy moves can become weird poses. Haha....but really enjoyed it. Cardio level was okay, the pace was kept quite steadily throughout.

My tots: Through more of these lessons, I feel that my stamina gets ahead better with time. Every different kinds of classes have different kinds of warm ups and downs. All the instructor were equally great. I enjoyed each & every of the classes and feels fun, & the 1 hr kicks by real quickly, compared to an hour of boring run on the tread. Also, then I learnt new dance moves & make my penny worth. I wanted to remember all those moves when I came back home or have it written down, but lazy me....So hack it.

So much so on the exercising & energizing part, back to my home again...

Lastly mentioned on reno-ing the house. Hiiiya....count left right up down, also tat certain amount for reno, not including additional new furnishing. Really headache. Needs to get hold of $ the shortest possible time, but difficult. Don't wanna delay the process on the conceiving part but of cos' also wanna reno the house. Really realy wanted lor. Dun wanna take loan, it's a no-no. Dun wanna pay for years after years for debts. It gets so tiring & stressful on the tot of it.

Hopes that my Ace of Pentacles on the Tarot Card Reading comes true!